WSER SASSY ENTERTAINMENT RADIO

Dear Sassy,
I have been reading your blogs and you look like you know what you are talking about. My problem is this, I don't want to sound prejudice or come off bitter, but I am get really angry whenever I see a black man with a woman outside of his race. I am easy to look at, I have a great job, I am educated, and I am independent. I am not like the other women who say there are no good black men because deep in my heart I believe that there are. But the more I look around the more I see black men dating and marrying white women. How does a thirtysomething female with all of that going on get a black man when the ones that I meet in my profession almost always want white women?

Frustrated and Angry


Dear Frustrated & Angry,

First, thanks for the compliment and the confidence...NOW

Girl you need to let that anger --GO! Its not doing you any good to stress over a situation that you can do nothing about. I know that there are a high number of black men married/dating/involved with women of other races...not just white. I also know how you feel, because I used to feel the same anger and frustration that you feel. You tend to want to turn inwards and ask "What's wrong with me?", and the answer to that question is---nothing! Instead focus on YOU! Take some time out for you and reflect on your wants, needs, and desires. What is negotiable to you when it comes to a man and relationships.

Secondly you must try to understand why you are angry and where is the anger coming from. Is it because you are thirthysomething? Is your biological clock ticking? You left alot of information unsaid, such as your profession...but regardless of that fact, there are still alot, and I mean SMORGASBOARD of black men in this world that love, cherish, honor, revel, uplift, desire, lust, want, and need black women like you in their lives. Hold on to the belief that God will place the right person in your life, in his time, and not yours.

Here are a couple of tips that I found helped when dating:
Join a Singles Group - i.e. Minglecity.com,
Join an Online Dating site - i.e. Yahoo Personals, BlackPeopleMeet
Explore various cultural events - Jazz Festivals, Heritage Festivals, Wine/Beer Festivals
Attend Openings of Local and National Talent - i.e. Authors/Poets, Artist, Museum/Gallery openings

Open your mind . I know that it can get frustrating in the dating realm, however, do not get discouraged. You need to open yourself up to different avenues and/or venues for meeting men. If you see most of the men in your profession are taken, then look outside of that box [i.e. your world] and find other men. As a single woman, this is a great opportunity to meet likeminded individuals. Trust me, as a single, thirthysomething sista, I know that there are men out there! Good, solid, caring, dependable, men that would love to meet a woman such as yourself. Don't loose hope, and I wish you alot of luck!

SassyScribe