Dear Sassy:
I am 45yo married woman and I have a major crisis on my hands. My problem is that I am not happy with the sex my husband is giving me right now. Five years ago our sex was hot and heavy, but now he is like a won hit wonder. Once he cums it takes him at least forty five minutes to an hour to get hard again. Its not like he has ever been considerate enough to make sure I cum first at least once, but now its really beginning to irrtate me and I don't know what to do. I try everything that I can know in my powers to help him get it up, but nothing helps. I talk to my friends and they say that women reach their sexual peake in their late thirties and beyond and his peak is gone. One of my girlfriends told me to get some young action on the side, but the thought of cheating doesn't appeal to me. I love this man, but his sex is so weak and it never used to be like that. I need your help? What should I do?
On My Peak Off His Peak
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Dear OMP/OHP:
LOL...I am not laughing at you, but your story is very familiar to what myself and other women OUR age have experienced with men our age. Your friends were 100% correct in telling you that women reach their sexual peak now and men had theirs in their twenties. That is not to say that some [older] men don't have the staying power, stamina and/or come back like that of a young buck, but the majority of them don't. What I don't understand is your sentence "Its not like he has ever been considerate enough to make sure I cum first at least once" How could you let this go on if he is selfish enough to not consider your pleasure? That makes me angry! Draw the brother a map or something telling him what it is you need to get release. It sounds as if once he cums, you are left totally unfulfilled, which is just plain wrong. I find it incredible that in this day and time of enlightenment couples are still finding it hard to communite their wants, desires, and needs of the bedroom to their partners.
Don't listen to your friends and cheat, that is wrong. Rather talk to your husband, tell him of your disappointment and take it from there. Maybe you should take it slow, enjoy more foreplay with one another, make a game of it where the first one cums looses and the penalty has to be something that you know he will abhor. You set the pace for him...you set the pace for both of you.
Should this behavior continue, I suggest couples counseling and/or a sex or relationship therapist.
Good luck!
SassyScribe
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